The Blog About Everything

Neon Artesia

2012-01-27T18:38:00.001-08:00

Practicing at night, hand held.

Joshua

Driven Part 2

2012-01-18T17:49:00.000-08:00

After giving this idea a bit of thought, I think I agree a lot with Mr. Ken. To simplify what I think, I would say we are driven by wanting to be happy.

Strange thing to admit, but happiness drives me also. I have tried to deny this for a long time, trying to be "holier than thou", but the truth is I am driven by happiness just as much as the next guy. I am not driven by some kind of spiritual force that overrides everything I do. My faith in God changes what I believe will make me happy but my desire to be happy has not disappeared. If I choose to go get a cup of coffee it is because I think drinking a cup will make me happy. If I go to school for two years it is because I think the outcome will lead me to happiness. Even if I choose to give up my home, wealth, and friends to serve God in a foreign country, I do it because I think that by sacrificing these things will bring me happiness through a sense of purpose, by God's gifts to me, by the simple belief that helping someone is worth while. Happiness drives us to extraordinary feats of bravery and foolishness alike. Ecclesiastes 10:2

Why does the business man forsake his family and work eighty hours a week? Is it because he hates his job? Is it because he desires to destroy relationships for the sake of a dollar? I don't think so. I believe that he thinks sacrificing family time and relationships to be a provider or gain wealth for himself will somehow make him happy. Luke 12

Some of us need to know we are useful. Some need to know that they are needed. Some need a limit to break, a goal to exceed. Some need physical comfort. We all need something and we think that when we finally attain that need, we will be truly happy. Happiness can drive us to do great things and accomplish a lot in our lives. It can drive us to strive to spread the Kingdom of God, to preach, teach, disciple, and intercede. It can also lead us to strive for something completely useless in an improper manner. The desire can lead us to run down wrong roads and do selfish, useless, and destructive things in an attempt to falsely satisfy our happiness.

God can use happiness. One may say that joy is happiness realized. Even if I am not currently happy with my circumstances, I can be joyful because I know that the outcome of my predicaments will lead to eternal happiness. Romans 8:18-19

Look at your actions and the actions of those around you. Do those actions lead to a desire to be happy one way or another? The path may be skewed and incorrect, but is the intention to seek happiness?

Joshua

White Christmas

2011-12-24T20:59:00.000-08:00

Hope you have a blessed white Christmas!

Joshua

Home Sweet Tarmac

2011-12-22T16:12:00.001-08:00

This is the place I call aviation home.

Roswell Industrial Air Center

Joshua

Really?

2011-12-20T14:21:00.000-08:00

An hour or so ago I went to the fairgrounds because they are supposed to be having a "liquidation" sale. Basically it is a big junk sale. I was thinking it would be nice to get a cheap stereo for a VW, and I knew they would have stereos.

I walked in the building and they lady sitting at the desk inside told me it is $7 to walk around and shop. What? Yeah, you have to pay in order to see the prices or merchandise but they refund it if you spend $100 or more on electronics or $50+ on anything else. I told her, "no, thank you," and walked my little self on out of the junk store.

Really? I have to give you money to purchase something. You guys lost my business because you were trying to rip me off. Congratulations.

Strange days.

Joshua

Driven Part 1

2011-12-13T15:48:00.000-08:00

I wrote this down while killing time at school today. I had considered keeping it to myself for a while until the thought is more developed but instead, I am sharing it now.

What is a man's drive? What leads us to do what we do? There are seven billion people on Earth doing seven billion different things. There are seven billion minds moving around doing what seems appropriate to them a the time. We all are driven to live life in whatever way we do. What is our drive and what determines that drive?

What drives one person to give their life to helping the poor and another to taking a life for the profit of something such as a car? Why does one person start a major corporation and another live on the streets? What makes one man give his life to God and another to kill Christians?

Is there a common drive for every person or are people's reasons as diverse as their characters? Are we all created with some imprinted purpose that cannot be deviated from? Or can we deny our callings?

What is my drive? Maybe if I could understand what drives me, I could begin understanding what drives others and if there is a common denominator.

What drives you? Think about it . . . hard. Give an honest and thoughtful answer, not necessarily the first thing that comes to your head.

Joshua

Yosemite Climbing - Photo Gallery - Pictures, More From National Geographic Magazine

2011-12-07T15:49:00.000-08:00

I love climbing, free climbing, but heights really get me still. Maybe that's why it is fun.

Yosemite Climbing - Photo Gallery - Pictures, More From National Geographic Magazine

Joshua

From the Archives

2011-12-07T15:37:00.001-08:00

Joshua

Fired

2011-12-06T08:51:00.001-08:00

Sometimes funny things happen and you learn useful (however unpleasant) aspects about people without being hurt by it.

I got a part-time job at the local airport working on aircraft. A guy I know got me an interview and I spoke with the owner about my schedule and his plan in employing me. Everything seemed to work out and I was employed as a part-time mechanic's help. The only times I would be able to help would be on vacation days from school during the week. I go to school 7:00 to 4:00, five days a week. The shop closes its doors at 4:30 and doesn't work on weekends, so this was understood from the beginning.

I showed up today because school was canceled due to the weather. The mechanic said I wasn't on the time clock so we went to the office to get me back on. It was then that we were both informed that the owner decided I wasn't going to work out. Hmm. Nice to know. Neither the mechanic or I knew this. So I was fired before I worked a single day for this company and I didn't even know. This is a valuable thing to know about the company without being injured by it. Lesson learned.

Joshua

I Don't Know

2011-12-05T06:52:00.001-08:00

It is true, I really don't know. I don't know how old the Earth is. I don't know why "bad things happen to good people." I don't know how there can be no beginning of God and no end. I don't know how I can exist for Eternity. I don't know how to prove to you that God exists (although I may have already mentioned that.) I don't know why the History Channel says that Israel was a nation of hired guns.

I don't have a problem saying, "I don't know." At one point in time, I would have had an issue with such a statement, but not more. When I say, "I don't know," it drives me to find the answer. Not know the answer to a question and admitting it is not an easy way out, it is the truth. Learning those three words came with experience, making mistakes and claiming things I can't back up.

I think more Christians need to learn that phrase. I have spoken to many people who had a different view that I do on spiritual subjects and they made ridiculous arguments that seemed to come from thin air. It seemed as though they were defending an opinion that they were not sure why they believed it themselves. Now, I have done this in the past and may do it again but I will try not to.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 reads, "He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end."

You catch that? We will not understand all that God does. So why do some claim they do? I also wrote a while back about not trying to over-understand God. You can read it in Digging Deeper.

I read a Q&A session with an atheist about what he believes about and sees in Christians. One thing he said that I have to agree with is that Christians are horrible about backing up what they believe. He did use a few extreme examples, but much of what he said appeared to be sound. He also said that we are unable to admit that we DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING. That's sad, because truth be told, we don't know everything.

Consider what you say. Are you certain of your answer? Are you using valid information or are you making stuff up? Don't be afraid of saying, "I don't know." Then once you say that phrase, try your hardest to not have to say it again for that same question. Find the answer.

There is no replacement for faith. I have found that some things have spiritual/supernatural answers that no one will believe. At that point, the only way to believe is faith. Nothing can replace the faith that we were told to hold on to.

Joshua

Let's Play a Game!

2011-12-02T15:39:00.001-08:00

I start the sentence, you finish it however seems fit for you.

"Cold weather is..."

Example: "Cold weather is an excuse for drinking obnoxious amounts of coffee."

Your turn!

Joshua

Panoramics

2011-11-25T09:43:00.000-08:00

I like panoramic photos. They give a more real perception of things. A person's field of view is much larger than most cameras'. In stitching panoramic photos, you get a wide view angle AND extreme detail. An aerial photographer came by last weekend and we shot some photos around town. Here's one of the Roswell Courthouse. Click the photo then at the top of the page click "O" under sizes to see the photo in all its glorious pixels.

Joshua

My Ears are Ringing

2011-11-15T08:25:00.001-08:00

Complaint: Why does the F-bomb get dropped an average of twice a minute in this place? My ears are melting.

Joshua

Wingless

2011-11-12T16:40:00.001-08:00

Poor girl lost her wings today but no worries, we put them back on.

Joshua

2011-11-11T15:19:00.001-08:00

Another Lost Hobby

Good Friend and Good Food

Joshua

2011-11-06T07:18:00.000-08:00

The Gospel needs to be in the mouths of bold, determined lovers of God who want to glorylify the King and serve Him.

Photo a Day

2011-11-02T15:52:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to edit a photo a day. I have no shortage of photos on my computer, I just have a shortage of photos worth sharing.

I flew with a fellow A&P student to Double Eagle II airport outside Albuquerque and we saw this beauty. It's a Cessna 140 all polished up and pretty. This is the #1 model airplane I have considered purchasing.

Joshua

Ice

2011-10-29T11:42:00.000-07:00

I flew this morning and learned another thing about airplanes first hand. I love these practical lessons. You see, there's a phenomena that occurs with aircraft using carburetors where the carb. builds up ice inside and the engine starts running rough and eventually may cause the engine to stop. This is kind of bad, so we have a knob in the airplane that we can pull and it sends hot air into the carburetor to melt the ice so the engine continues to run.

When I started the engine in Artesia this morning, the temperature was low and the humidity was high. This is a good combination in the atmosphere to produce carb. ice. When I was taxiing to the end of the runway, the engine seemed to be missing quite a bit. I thought it might just be a cold engine or a rich mixture. I leaned the fuel/air mixture a little and started my run-up at the end of the runway. This is where I hold the brakes and rev the engine to 1700rpm to test the systems. While testing, the engine RPM dropped to 1200rpm. I thought, hey, I may have carb ice. I pulled the know to send hot air in and presto! The engine started running like it was supposed to. I kept it on while on take-off and for a while afterward. It is neat to see the real effects of something only spoken of in theory during training. That's another experience to mark up on my list.

I also flew around a bit of fog this morning. I stayed legal the whole time, but I could see fog forming, burning off, and moving, but I didn't get into it. When I was ready to leave Artesia, fog had brought the horizontal visibility down to 1/2 mile and I had to wait for better weather. Good flight today.

Tomorrow I fly to Amarillo and back. That will be a fun trip.

Joshua

Content

2011-10-19T18:15:00.000-07:00

There are many levels of contentedness and so many different things that one should be content in. Learning to be content is not something that is necessarily done intentionally. Chances are being content stems from another part (or other parts) of your life getting right.

Why this little talk on the word, "content?" I wanted to be content with many things for a log time. It is something I was trying to rationalize and use logic to achieve but never really grasped. I wanted to be content in my work-place, happy to work where I was working, content with the things I own, content with my finances, content with my relationships, content with everything, but it was beyond my grasp. But just today I started realizing that there are some things I am very content with and although they may be small to you, they are significant to me.

I have noticed that I am content with the vehicle I drive. I purchased my motorcycle back in 2007 for $4000 that I borrowed from the bank. The bike had 4710 miles on it when I picked it up in Albuquerque and it was perfectly clean. It's a 2003 model so it obviously wasn't ridden much in those four years before my purchase of it. Soon after (one year) riding it home (actually we hauled it in the back of my sister's truck but that's another story) I started thinking that I was wanting another motorcycle. I wanted something that could tear down a dirt road and handle my long distance rides too. I searched and searched for another motorcycle but things never really worked out. I paid my bike off in 2009 and still own it today. Just today I was riding it and noticed I have over 67,000 miles on it and I am looking forward to 100,000 miles and to the first engine rebuild. Man, I am so thankful that I have ridden it for that long without any major upsets and only the minimal maintenance that is typical of any vehicle driven. I am content with my wheels and it just happened, it wasn't on purpose.

Something else that may be a little strange is I decided it is okay to eat the same thing for a week straight (or longer for that matter.) I am content with not having something new everyday. Our culture somehow says that you must eat something different every day and not repeat for at least two weeks or something like that. Yeah, I just made that up, but that is how I felt things were supposed to be. So I was never content with leftovers. Especially if I had to eat them two or three days in a row. Well, late last week I made some stew out of lots of veggies, some black-eyed peas, hamburger, and beef stock. I have been eating it twice a day ever since and I am content with that. I have oatmeal or breakfast burritos in the morning then stew for lunch and dinner. You know what? It tastes better every day.

Those are just two things but it goes on. Start small, then go from there. Being content with what you have and where you are is a very healthy place to be. Don't think that this is an excuse for laziness because it is not. If your living conditions or circumstances need improvement, then improve. Some people need to be discontent with their present circumstances if their circumstances are detrimental. But once you are somewhere healthy, be content. When you reach for something better, be content with your present position but aim and achieve something better.

The human race's development is driven by discontent. Some of that discontent is good, other is bad. Observe the purpose for your discontent, then judge whether it is valid or not. It will take some objective thinking but will be well worth the effort in the end.

Do you all agree with me? Where am I wrong? What are your experiences with being content (and discontent?)

Joshua

2011-10-10T05:35:00.000-07:00

Dead mouse scurrying. Tonight there is a showdown...

One and a House

2011-10-04T17:26:00.000-07:00

I moved into a house on Graves Farm a while back and I don't think I chose the right time of year to do so. You see, living alone is okay with me; I can handle it. I enjoy cooking (mostly because I like eating good food), I don't particularly disagree with cleaning, and I can generally keep myself amused when alone. I have all kinds of activities like reading, cooking, working on my car, bike, the Ercoupe, fixing the house, working on something for the boss, writing, and all kinds of other stuff. But there's something real weird about Fall/Winter that mess with my mind. When the weather changes and the clouds form overhead, I feel a need for company. This time of year I need company.

I will do fine alone, but it isn't really my preference. There is something about the lack of sunlight that makes me need to confide in others. Coffee and cocoa become beverage norms and they tend to be a social drink, so the drink without the social seems oxymoronic. The closed house and warm fire call for company and companionship. You can ask my parents and they will tell you I nearly live by the wood stove in the winter. There is a lot about the cold season's character that calls for company.

Now my house is not the prettiest or coziest, but if you ever want a hot meal, stop by and I will see what I can do. I have a fireplace and I have a clean kitchen with a stove (although electric.) If you help, we can even bake up some hot bread.

Keep cozy,
Joshua

Blurb of a Thought on Grace and Gifts

2011-09-29T20:26:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of the Robbie Seay Band? It's some pretty neat music with great lyrics. When I stop and get paying attention to lyrics on songs, I learn a lot. One song I was listening to today reminded me of how much God really does care about us.

I am pretty young still but that doesn't mean I am naive. I have seen a lot for being here twenty-two years. I have also been in need many times. I don't mean that I needed a motorcycle to go somewhere, needed a vacation, or needed a resupply on ice cream. Those are not needs. I have been in REAL need many times. I needed fished off the bottom of the lake to survive. I needed an extra boost of strength to get back to shore when caught in a rip tide. I needed love many times when I felt unloved or unlovable in order to continue on. Each time I was in need, God provided and still does. Why does he provide? Why does he give? I sure don't purchase anything from Him. My "good deeds" and ethics don't provide me with spiritual tender that I can cash in when I want (or need) something. Why does he give things I don't need but sometimes what I want? Why does God care about my wants? Mostly, how does God know what I really need even when I don't know myself?

Although God gives many tangible gifts to us (followers and otherwise) the most precious gifts are those which we can't hold. God knows us. He knows us because He makes it His business to know us. He makes it His business because He cares about us. He cares about us because....

...

I can't explain why God cares about us. I don't know why God would have the slightest interest in any of humanity, let alone me.

I have been reading through the book of Jeremiah lately. I have been in a three-year quest to read the Bible in a year. Haha. I have the NT done and am now in Jeremiah after starting the OT. I just read this evening where God was speaking through Jeremiah that He is having no more of Israel's disobedience and vile living. God gave them a way to do right still, "Administer justice every morning; and deliver the person who has been robbed from the power of his oppressor, that My wrath may not go forth like fire and burn with none to extinguish it, because of the evil of their deeds." (Jer 21:12) Yet they would not listen to Him, "But your eyes and your heart are intent only upon your own dishonest gain, and on shedding innocent blood and on practicing oppression and extortion." (Jer. 22:17) "I spoke to you in your prosperity; but you said, 'I will not listen!' This has been your practice from your youth, that you have not obeyed My voice." (Jer 22:21)

Isreal was promised life if they did right. God gave them so much even in their disobedience! But now He says, "No More!" I sometimes fear that I will hear that. But later in chapter 23 you can see God's never ending love for a people who couldn't care less, "'Then I myself will gather the remnant of My flock out of all the countries where I have driven them and bring them back to their pasture, and they will be fruitful and multiply. I will also raise up shepherds over them and they will tend them; and they will not be afraid any longer, nor be terrified, nor will any be missing,' declares the Lord." (Jer 23:3-4)

God's love does not end. After Israel is taken captive by Babylon, God will continue to carry out the covenant with Abraham and bring Israel back to the Promised Land under new life in a new generation. And He does the same for us. He is always calling for us to "protect the orphan, do justice and righteousness, and deliver the oppressed." He does this because He loves us and wants the best for us. Then, even when we disobey, he gives us the greatest gift ever created, Jesus, Salvation, GRACE.

Thank you for Grace and Love.

P.S. I do not re-read a lot of my posts. If there are grammatical errors and such, sorry. I feel weird when I read my writings.

Too Close For Comfort

2011-09-20T19:43:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had to share a bed with a sibling? I am sure most of us have and from time to time it creates interesting circumstances and fun stories. I never really liked sharing a bed with my brother because he is all lanky and sprawls out everywhere. I actually have a very awkward and funny story about that while in Albuquerque on the way to Swaziland but I don't want to tell that now. Sharing beds was inevitable when we were younger and traveling because we often didn't stay somewhere with four extra beds. However, when the two sharing beds are twenty-two and twenty-six respectively, you would think things get a little more civilized.

NOT!

Since my sister came over for a while and we also have an uncle and little cousin that recently moved in, the spare beds were all used up and her and I ended up sharing a king size bed. That's right. King size. Plenty of room so we don't have to touch each other. Oh, and did I mention that my 5'4" sister is like six months pregnant with twins? Yeah, so I was sharing a bed with my super-pregnant sister but with plenty of buffer zone in between so no one starts cuddling. The only problem is that I am spastic.

Many of you who know me can attest that nearly every aspect of my life is spastic. I move in quick, unforeseen jolts, I go on long trips with only a day's preparation, I spend money or begin big projects with only a moment's thought.

My spastic nature carries over into my sleep cycles apparently because two nights in a row I guess I flung my arm over at some ridiculous time of the night and smacked my sister in the arm or something. I think I poked her with my foot. She poked me once. It was just too close for being so far away. So I stacked some pillows between us and I still smacked her the next night OVER the two-high pillows. She said she feels sorry for my future with who will probably be taken into protective custody due to the bruises she receives from my flailing during the night. Eventually I stopped hitting her. Maybe it was how far over she was to the edge of the bed or the re-positioning of the pillows, but finally she wasn't assaulted by my whip-like limbs and we both got to sleep in peace.

I guess the point of this story is that regardless of how old you get, sleeping in the same bed as your sibling just isn't meant to be; fighting is inevitable.

Good night,
Joshua

Opportunities Arise

2011-09-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

Flying grows on me. I find myself daydreaming about small airplanes and short airstrips though out the day. I can spot a small airplane from unreasonable distances and I would rather sit in a Super Cub than drive a Ferrari. I don't know what does that to me but it's a strong force. The smell of avgas is preferable to perfume. 39 inch bush tires are more highly sought after than a reasonable car. I would pay $5000 for a dismantled airplane to put together before I would purchase a house. Maybe my priorities are wrong, but those things call my name and I feel the NEED to satisfy. Although I am incapable of such flying yet, I am so appreciative of the flight situation I am in. The plane I fly is too fast for back country flying but it is cheap and fun. I have now flown 42 hours flying this little bird and hope to enjoy many more before the situation ends. Maybe someday I will own a plane of my own.

VLA:

Hondo Valley:

At the controls:

Thanks Stever,Joshua

Bite My Tongue

2011-09-03T11:42:00.000-07:00

Songs are a wonderful reminder of real life situations and experiences when you listen to the words. If you aren't careful they can hold you accountable too. One such song is by Relient K. Relient K is a punk/rock/pop/something band from a few years back. They tend to play on my more eccentric or rebellious side and I like it. On their album, "Four Score and Seven Years Ago," they have a song called, Bite My Tongue. I was listening to it last night coming home from school/studying and realized how much I need to apply it. One of the verses reads,

And sometimes I say things thatI wish that I could take backThe most crucial thing I lack is the thing called "tact"And if you're always so intently listeningThen the smartest thing to sayIs to tell myself not to say a thing

Sometimes I say things that are better left in my head. I really try and think about things before I say them and have become much better at doing so that I used to be. But sometimes I say something that just comes out wrong. I don't mean harm by it, but once the words hit the air, my brain goes on high alert and I wish that I could suck them back into my lungs. Maybe it is tact, maybe it is apathy; I am unsure, but it needs a bit of work. Another thing that I do is start a conversation complaining about someone before I realize that what I am doing is so disgusting to my soul. Words are a powerful force. Those simple vibrations of air that your ears pick up and translate into words and understanding can cause such substantial damage that sometimes I wish I would be unable to speak. That is why when I want to say something important, I like to write it down. Letters are my friend. My lips betray my desire.Joshua

Mosquitoes in Heaven

2011-08-07T13:33:00.000-07:00

From One Man's Wilderness:

My first evening was clear and calm. I wish some of those folks who passed me in my camper and waved could see this place. Mosquitoes are out and working on the sunburn I acquired while packing this afternoon. Listen to them singing a tune. Brings to mind a comment Babe made one time. "Can't be very good country," he said, "when even a mosquito wouldn't live there." By the sound I allow this is prime country. I wonder if there are any mosquitoes in heaven.

Still With My Head in the Clouds

2011-08-07T12:34:00.000-07:00

I'm still flying around when I get time. I took up a kid on Saturday out of Roswell and we goofed around for a while before heading back to Roswell. Then I flew in to the fly-in in Artesia. I had another guy wanting to go fly so we headed out for .4 hours before the breakfast actually began. It was a nice morning. Sure, I started my day a 4:00am, but it was worth it.

Sun rising on the way from Artesia to Roswell.

Jet on the ramp in Roswell. I was told it's a junk German plane that lost a whole bunch of fuel mid-flight.

Side note: I start my aviation maintenance school in a week!

Joshua

Idolatry

2011-08-02T17:53:00.000-07:00

Idolatry may not come in an obvious form. Sometimes it just finds you, or you find it, in a simple and innocent place. That place of innocence turns into interest after some time and you begin to seek out this seemingly normal thing. I mean, we seek after many different things that enter our lives, activities, adventures, objects, people; but this thing is different. It starts to grip you and you want it more. It becomes a common thought on your mind and a place you ponder in the day. Then it becomes obsessive. You may not even notice it, but it is there and it is mean. Your infatuation with something new has turned into a hoarder of time an thought. It has became a stitch in your side that you must tend. It has taken control of you.

That's where I have been. That's why I have not blogged. That's why I have been in a spiritual lagoon. That's why my mind no longer seeks out a pen and paper to release thoughts piling up. It's because they are all gone. They left when my idol took over. And when that idol came in, my Lord got cast down to second.

...

We live and we learn . . . we learn. Well, we should learn. This time can be of profit if I learn from it and I am devoted to doing so. The idol is burned. The Asherim pole has been cut down and the altar is re-erected. Now comes the up-hill trek. Down-hill is easy but it is boring. Up-hill is where things get exciting.

Joshua

Wanna Laugh?

2011-07-19T06:38:00.001-07:00

Slacker

2011-07-18T10:40:00.000-07:00

It's been a while... I will update soon. This is of course if I still have any readers :/

Time-Lapse

2011-07-11T20:19:00.000-07:00

No, not brain-lapse, time-lapse.
I'm playing with time-lapse photography. Here's two samples.

Joshua

Early at Work

2011-06-17T05:21:00.000-07:00

Good morning, world.

2011-06-01T05:39:00.000-07:00

We have a red car following us really close...

Joshua

Eating out, 1700 Miles From Home

2011-05-31T09:10:00.000-07:00

Mmm... key lime pie.

Salad and bread before dinner.

Eating by the water.

Joshua

Cruising With the Window Down

2011-05-16T20:00:00.001-07:00

When it's warm and you have no A/C, go 100mph, roll the window down, fly low.

When it's really hot and you have no A/C, go 90mph, keep the windows up, fly high... realllllly high.

Guadalupe Peak from 11,000 ft. It was about 50 degrees before the wind chill.

Longing

2011-05-16T19:39:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get that feeling that you really want something but you don't know what it is? You know, when things feel a little too mundane but nothing seems exciting. Naturally, many people try and fill that with something they enjoy and I tend to heavily consider doing to same. But when I really start considering my options (in my never ending brain hum of calculations and searching) I know nothing I WANT to do is what my soul is aching for.

My next thought is, I need more Jesus. You know, that may be true, I always need more Jesus, but He's not that easy to readily attain and often, attaining more "Jesus" doesn't make you FEEL better.

Sunday at Church part of the answer may have been revealed to me. But what still stinks about the answer is that what I desire remains unattainable at the moment.

Romans 8:22-23 NASB For we know that the whole creations groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body.

We weren't made for this world and until we are taken up and our bodies renewed, we will always be lacking something. God is our fullness but right now we are seeing Him in part; indirectly. (1 Corinthians 13:12) Someday we will see him fully and then, that longing will cease.

Prune

2011-05-14T13:38:00.000-07:00

John 15:1-5 NASB

"I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. "Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. "You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. "Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. "I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.

Do you ever feel like you are being "pruned?" After you have born some fruit, be prepared to get pruned.

The Sky is NOT Falling

2011-05-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

Oh, how I hope for rain.

Joshua

My View on "Prove God"

2011-04-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

I thank all of you who replied. Your input is valuable to me and the subject at hand is a very fundamental yet sometimes, poorly covered. I don't claim to cover it any better than anyone else, but these are my observations after seeking God's guidance and discussing the question with other people.

The most common answer I received is that we are to tell people to "look at God's Creation." God has created a magnificent world around us and has allowed us to witness all the miraculous happenings from day to day. In fact, Creation is probably the most blatant proof of God's existence. However, since we live in this miracle everyday, our view of its splendor can be dulled. A constant stimulus of nearly any sense will eventually become much less noticeable after only a short time. If I lay a brick on you hand, you feel the weight quite well and may be uncomfortable. But if that brick remains and you do not move your hand, its existence will become less apparent. So, Creation is great proof of God but it seems much less magnificent to many people as time goes on.

So what else? How about anomalies in life that "science" cannot specifically explain? We call them miracles. I drowned when I was nine years old. My brother found me in much shallower water than I was swimming in. I was not breathing for more than ten minutes. I have no permanent brain damage after that ordeal. The water that was in my lungs while in the ambulance disappeared once we got to the hospital. There are many events that day that cannot be explained by a scientific method, however, people will try and deny facts. "Well, maybe you didn't really go that long without air." "You probably drowned in much shallower water than you remember and suffer from short term memory loss." "Maybe the EMTs were mistaken when they thought they heard water in your lungs." This was my experience and the experience of the people who were there, so it is much less believable to people who did not witness the miracle. My experiences are not evidence of God's existence to people who did not witness the same thing. There is always the belief that I may engorge the story so as to look more tragic and awesome than it really was, so MY experience is often discredited.

How about the history found in the Bible? There were such and such many prophesies that Jesus fulfilled in His life and to do that is impossible. But people who do not believe in God do not trust the Bible either. They don't believe it is the inspired Word of God sent to man in order for them to understand. So the Bible's historical evidence is no evidence to people who don't have faith in God already.

Sounds kind of vain. Here's what I have witnessed:
Depending on the circumstances, there are two reasons a person might ask you to prove God. One type of person will only want to argue. It's useless to engage in that conversation. If they come to you to argue, they want to prove you wrong, not hear the Truth. Proverbs 23:9 says, "Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words."
The other kind of person you may encounter is really interested in your view and what you can tell them. These people are very few and far between. Engage them in conversation, they want to hear. Don't deny someone who is seeking the Truth.

Remember, everyone comes into a conversation with a preconceived belief about the subject. A objective person will be able to disregard their expectations but a non-objective thinker is hard to convince.

So again, if you do end up getting asked by someone to prove God and they are truly interested in the Truth, what do you tell them?

My answer? I cannot "prove" God to anyone. God never asked me to defend is existence. He will exist regardless of people's belief in Him. When Jesus was entering Jerusalem on a colt he explained to the Pharisees who told him to stop the praises that, "I tell you, if these become silent, the stones will cry out!" Luke 19:39

God doesn't need proven, but his Gospel needs spread. We were instructed to share the Good News with all creation. (Mark 16:15) So do that. Share with those who ask you to prove God, the Gospel. God proves Himself to people, that is not our job. We are to live lives that glorify God and be an example of God's love for man. 2 Corinthians 6:2-3 speaks of the "Day of Salvation." Verse three specifically says, ". . . giving no cause for offense in anything, so that the ministry will not be discredited."

One last thing; every man knows of God's existence. Don't believe me? Romans 1:20, "For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse." God is the God who reveals Himself to creation.

I always welcome your input. Please leave a comment if you have something say.

All verses are taken from the New American Standard Bible translation.
Joshua

Prove God

2011-04-12T20:40:00.000-07:00

Has anyone ever asked you to prove God to them? Prove God exists? If you are a Christian and other people know, you have probably been presented with this question. If you haven't been asked, chances are you will be asked eventually. I was asked just tonight.

So, please tell me, how do/would you respond? I really want to hear your ideas. PLEASE COMMENT!

Joshua

Ecclesiastes 5:8-9 NASB

2011-04-11T19:43:00.001-07:00

If you see the oppression of the poor and denial of justice and righteousness in the province, do not be shocked at the sight; for one official watches over another official, and there are higher officials over them. After all, a king who cultivates the field is an advantage to the land.

Digging Deeper

2011-04-11T19:30:00.000-07:00

Ecclesiastes is a GREAT book! I love how... wise it is. Haha. I don't often share things I write down in my journal but here is a page from it, word for word. Disregard any grammatical errors and scattered thoughts. I don't much care about sentence structure and organization when I am writing to myself. This is over Ecclesiastes 5, 6, 7, and 8.

I really get the image of confusion in this book. I don't think it is solely because I am confused personally, but Solomon is probably making a point in how confusingly this book is written. In one paragraph you will read about how foolish men thrive while the righteous are thwarted. Then the next paragraph will say the exact opposite. However, I also see that this is very true. Both things happen. There is no method or rule that is set in place here on Earth. I already know of the final, eternal rule that will govern us all, but it is not visible now.

This may be what Solomon is trying to say; this world's rules don't mirror eternity's rules, God's rules.

Something else that caught my attention was 7:15-18. Solomon says the be a little wise while retaining a little foolishness. Sounds silly, but I think I understand it. We should be wise in our actions to earnestly seek and obey God but not so much so that we seek to explain Him and in doing so, shame ourselves. Because, "God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise." (1 Corinthians 1:27 NASB)

And yet, with all Solomon's wisdom, there is someone greater. Matthew 12:42

Joshua

Tears of the Oppressed

2011-04-02T16:55:00.001-07:00

Ecclesiastes 4:1-3 NASB

Then I looked again at all the acts of oppression which were being done under the sun. And behold I saw the tears of the oppressed and that they had no one to comfort them; and on the side of their oppressors was power, but they had no one to comfort them. So I congratulated the dead who are already dead more than the living who are still living. But better off than both of them is the one who has never existed, who has never seen the evil activity that is done under the sun.

I Hope We're Wrong

2011-03-27T08:43:00.000-07:00

Latest challenge for South Sudan: Armed internal rebellion

By ALAN BOSWELL

McClatchy Newspapers

KHARTOUM, Sudan -- After weeks of scattered clashes that left hundreds dead, rebel militias in Southern Sudan have united in a new armed movement against the young southern government, raising the prospect of civil war even before South Sudan declares independence in July.

"We have formed a new group. It is called the Southern Sudan Democratic Movement. We are calling the army the Southern Sudan Army," said renegade general George Athor, who is heading the rebel command, speaking earlier this week by satellite phone from an undisclosed location.

Read more: http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/03/26/2135828/latest-challenge-for-south-sudan.html#ixzz1HobNjHQa

Man, I sure that the news is inflating this story. My biggest fear for South Sudan was and is that they won't be able to govern themselves after voting to separate. With so little infrastructure, how do you enforce laws? With next to nothing for a police force, how do you keep peace?

The Dinka are a hard people. Anyone who has been to South Sudan has seen that. What is needed above all is a softening by the Holy Spirit. No amount of political resolution or education will bring them to peace. I believe they need to submit to God. Please pray for this country.

Joshua

Photos

2011-03-26T20:11:00.000-07:00

View from Capulin Volcano (click for larger photo)

Bread Rising

Joshua

Getting it Together

2011-03-24T17:28:00.001-07:00

The mess is cleaned up.

Joshua

The Happenings

2011-03-21T20:36:00.000-07:00

Why was I near Colorado? Great question.

I love telling stories. I told my mother last night that I want to be one of those old men that tells kids all kinds of stories that they love about the "old days." Sure, they aren't old now, but in fifty years, these days will be older than dirt. I have an extra advantage too, I have experienced a lot for twenty-two. I've been in ten countries on four continents. That makes for a lot of stories. So with my love for story telling and addiction to travel, I find them easy to put together; I do missions. When I am home, I tell stories about not being home. I love it. God has given me something I enjoy.

I was invited by BK to speak at a small church here in New Mexico and I took her up on the offer! As I have mentioned, I also fell into a great opportunity to fly around in a plane at a reasonable cost. So I flew on over the their little Church on Saturday, spent the night, spoke Sunday morning about missions and Church ministry while taking TONS of questions. I love questions! We spoke about needs in the mission field, how to get active in ministry wherever you are, and what international work is like. They all had great input and I think we gleaned off the knowledge and wisdom each other. After the meeting, we met again, this time in the eating area. Mmm... they fed me. It was wonderful. Then I hopped in the little plane and flew three hours back home.

I want to thank you guys for all your help and for even inviting me! It was great and I learned a lot. I hope you benefited from my visit as much as I did from your company. I hope to visit again sometime.

You already saw the photo of me on a mountain. Here's the wonderful New Mexico landscape.

Ercoupe on the the ramp.

Joshua

Near Colorado

2011-03-08T20:28:00.000-08:00

You would look this goofy too if you were standing on top of an active volcano in 25 mph winds.

Joshua

2.2 Hours of Fun

2011-03-02T06:45:00.000-08:00

Here's the little plane that I never got to write about because I always forgot my camera.

I got up at 3:45 yesterday morning to go flying before the sun came up. I did three stop and goes an hour before sunrise in Roswell then I headed over to Capitan Pass then landed at Sierra Blanca Airport, got fuel and a few ounces of burned coffee before heading back to Roswell and making it to work by 8:30.

Sierra Blanca through Capitan Pass.

Joshua

The Facts on the Bloody Truth

2011-02-21T12:52:00.000-08:00

If you want to know more about the business of abortion, visit this website. They have a movie about it too.

Joshua

The Yellow Ball

2011-02-21T12:44:00.001-08:00

Do you like my titles? I think they are fun. They tend to only have a shade of reference to what my post is actually about. On with what I was REALLY going to say.

I think I know why I have been in a poorly mood. I need more sun. Even though it is still definitively winter here in New Mexico, the sun is shining and I don't have to wear a jacket in this 75 degree weather so I get some sun on my pasty white skin. I think it is doing me good. I have come to the conclusion that I can't live in Alaska during the winter. If I was to, I would need a happy light. You know, a UV light that I could bake under to get some vitamin C in my body? Is in C? I'm not sure.

Have you read The Secret Garden? That's the kind of wonderful sun goodness I am talking about. Read it. It's good classic literature.

Joshua

Duck Robot

2011-02-20T18:54:00.000-08:00

Here I sit, eating cake, missing phone calls, thinking about how un-selfmotivated I can be. Two days and nothing to show for it... except that I cleaned up my little corner of this house a few minutes ago. I made the long seven mile drive to Hagerman last night to pick up pizza. Other than that, I have been home. Sure, there's a number of things I could have done like work on my Volkswagen engine head, work on the house I will eventually re-move into, climbed a mountain. You know, those common things. But I have totally blown this weekend and it wasn't too bad. Maybe next weekend I will find the cure to cancer or something. Haha. Yeah. Right.

Actually, next weekend I am going to Mexico again but to a different area. I was asked to go with this group of three guys and I told them I would. I will tell more about it once I get back. I was told to keep it on the DL.

Last, for those of you who don't follow my mother's facebook page, I have a quote for you:
"If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it might be a duck robot." ~Joshua

Have a nice new week!
Joshua

King for... Six Hours

2011-02-20T09:44:00.000-08:00

My sister came over this weekend for a baby shower for an old high school friend (I think.) Friday was also the night for a dinner theater that I was asked to be in but declined doing so because of the rehearsal schedule. Sad. But anyway, my mother, father, sister, and I went on Friday night and before the show began, I was crowned King Rex. I was wish a long reign... or for at least the next six hours. It was a good night.

The Green Machine

2011-02-19T10:34:00.000-08:00

It was mentioned to me just now that my recent blog post titled, "No Junk for You" was gloomy and obscure. I can't agree more. Sorry for that, kind of. It really was. There is something about my birthdays that makes me feel gloomy and obscure and I am not good at covering it up in my writing. Maybe I shouldn't write near my birthday. Maybe I should fix the gloomy and obscure mood... yeah, that sounds like a good answer. Anyway, here's something less gloomy... kind of.

That photo of the tractor with removed cab is only a small part of what actually happened. You see, I have no official education in fixing tractors... or cars, motorcycles, iPods, or even camera lenses for that matter, but I am determined. Now, determination without skill means nothing except more broken stuff and extra funds required to fix what was an attempt and self-repair. But, luckily, I have been gifted with the unnatural skill to fix stuff I have never seen before.

After returning from The Sudan, now becoming South Sudan, there was a lot of stuff broken that needed fixed. This tractor has five forward gears and numbers one, two, three, four, and seven would slip really bad so that you couldn't even operate in those gears. It would also make a horrendous noise when you let off the throttle and slowed down so it was my job to find out why. I did some troubleshooting and found that I had now hydraulic pressure when running in the broken gears. I replaced some seals but found nothing substantial. Next option, take out the clutch that operates said problematic gears. That means taking the cab off, splitting the tractor in half right behind the engine, taking a big thing off the back of the tractor, taking the other two clutches out, and then finally taking the final clutch pack out to find out why it isn't working. That's a lot of stuff to take off with a lot of hoses and a lot of bolts and a lot of wires. But it needed done and that is why I am paid. So I got after it with a little apprehension and a lot of question marks. After getting it all torn apart I found little chunks of metal everywhere. Bad.

Then I found more metal.

Turns out one thing probably broke here:

Then it broke another bearing that turns a really big shaft that turns the wheels. All this stuff is installed with spacing more precise than you can see with your eyes. So I decided I was officially in over my head. We called in the big guns, RJ and James, some old mechanics who are smart and experienced. They assured me that my fears were correct, everything needed readjusted. They also think that we may need to replace the big housing that everything fits in. They also assured me that the wheels and axles needed to come off along with the big gear in the back. Eh! So now I am left with what used to resemble a tractor. It is now just a chunk of green metal with other parts scattered around. After they do their experienced magic, I have to put it back together. My, my.

(now the wheels are off the back part and all that is left is that chunk of transmission metal.)

I hear the words, "job security" often.
Joshua

Oops

2011-02-16T20:18:00.000-08:00

Work

Joshua

No Junk for You

2011-02-14T17:45:00.000-08:00

I am vexed as to what I ought to write about. I feel a urge to spill emotion and feelings out for the world to hear but then I see how futile and immature it is to do so. Then I have trivial stuff to write about like performing surgery on tractors or our water crisis which never seems to say "goodbye." Or I could be more philosophical and talk about how men desire to build things and that's why I want to start my own business. I could wish you a happy valentine's day. I could talk about the "heavy walk" with my sister and brother-in-law near Caballo, NM. But none of these things seem to satisfy my urge to write about something interesting or important and I owe it to my readers to at least WRITE. But until I am in a better all around mood, I will have to leave you all hanging. You don't really want to read something of low quality just for the sake of reading, do you? Didn't think so.

Tomorrow will be a story about my flight with a guy named Stever in his Ercoupe. I will also explain my plans for a future in aviation.

Until my countenance is better,
Joshua

Cold

2011-02-05T13:19:00.000-08:00

It's no surprise to anyone that it has been very cold in most of the country. New Mexico is no exception. There is a guy right down the road from where I work and he irrigates his little "field" constantly with a birdie (one of those sprinklers that has the spring loaded arm and goes click click click.) He even leaves it on it ridiculously cold weather. It makes for some neat ice from time to time.

That is an ice tube formed from the water coming off the sprinkler head. Water was still flowing and making it longer.

Another Newsletter

2011-01-31T17:57:00.000-08:00

I decided to write a finish newsletter for Sudan and continue writing newsletters while I am here at home. You can sign up for the newsletter on the right hand side of this page.

A Heart Turned Toward Eternity

Intentionaly serving Goed wherever I am

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View it in your browser.

I'm Home!

I appolagize for such a late newsletter but I just decided that many people would like to know what has happened and I will continue to write newsletters while I am back in the States.

But it is official, I am back home. I left Sudan December 17 then made it back to my parents' house December 21 in time for Christmas. I am thankful that I did not get stuck in any airports due to weather because we all know that the weather was pretty nasty that time of year. I was concerned about the Minneapolis airport since it was snowing pretty hard my entire six hour lay over. But they kept the runway clear and I made it to Albuquerque only an hour late.

The Final Month

My final month in Sudan was BUSY! I worked non-stop on various construction jobs and installed a new solar system. The missionaries in Tonj no longer need the generator for pumping water or charging the batteries in the morning! By the grace of God I was able to install two solar setups; one for a submersible pump and another for the entire compound (including the new clinic building.) They are now saving a lot of money in fuel by not having to run the generator, plus they don't have to hear the roar of the little Honda motor anymore.

What Now?

Just as I did not want to become stagnant in my service to the Father when I returned from Swaziland, I am pushed forward by that same desire now. I have had the wonderful and humbling privilege to speak on three occasions now about my time in Sudan and what it has taught me. I have another request to speak in Northeast New Mexico and will schedule it here soon. We are all called to be intentionally active in ministry and that is the opportunity I have now, so I am taking it. Please pray for opportunity and grace in speaking.

Forward to a Friend

Prayer

Opportunity to share in Churches about Sudan and about being active in ministry.
My prayer life - always a challenge.
Ernesto and Maggie in Mexico; Juarez is a tough place right now.
Vision and Focus in seeing God's calling in my life.

Schedule
If you are crazy enough to want me to speak at your church, small group, or home, you can email me or call me at (575) 626-6547. I would be honored to share my experience in missions and present options and ideas to get involved in missions, to live intentionally for Christ.

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Keeping the Flow

2011-01-27T20:55:00.000-08:00

One of the largest dangers of coming back home after a long time of constant service is becoming stagnant in ministry. I refuse.

I have had the joyful opportunity to speak three times since I returned home and have at least two more openings to speak about Sudan and about being an active Christian. My first "presentation" was at a guy's house right after the Sunday morning service. He invited my family and I over for ham sandwiches and asked me to share about Sudan. I did... eat and share, that is. I showed a lot of my photos and talked about the experience. I had two problems though; I didn't have my photos sorted yet and I only shared about the trip and not the spiritual lessons I had learned. Time two would be different.

So I attended a Sunday night service at West Main Baptist Church (my home Church) and decided I would like to share one Sunday night. So I got things put together and the following week I would have the whole night to talk about... whatever. So I decided to organize photos and really search as to what I would talk about. I settled on 39 photos and during my preparation time I spoke with a friend I made while in Swaziland. We chatted on Skype and I had been considering some kind of deep stuff and wanted to dump my ideas on her. I was interested in why so few Christians are not involved in a ministry. I spoke with her for a while and we came to some very believable conclusions. I looked at some scripture I knew and put it all together into some kind of squared off idea. So while I was in Artesia after flying a plane with the local crop duster, I stopped by my NEW favorite coffee shop, The Filter, and spoke with the barista for a whopping two hours! We discussed the question I had, how it applied to each of us, and how to fix it. It was affirmation that I was on the right track. So once again, God had provided for something He had called me to. I went to Church on Sunday night and shared my story of Sudan for thirty minutes and finished up with that enduring question, "What does it take for an American Christian to get active in ministry?" It actually moved a couple people! I mean, they thought that it made perfect sense and were so excited to hear it coming from me, a young adult! (I think most people are amazed at the missions work I do because of my age which stereotypically gives way to parties and debt.) Right after I finished and was chatting with some of the people after the service, Dorothy Grayham came up to me and asked me if I would speak about the same exact same thing at their Tuesday night bible study. That led to my third speaking engagement.

Ms. Grayham's group consists of a couple of old ladies who get together on Tuesday nights and study a book or curriculum then discuss it. Their current theme was how to get out of an assortment of life or spiritual "cages." So I gave my spiel on the cage of inaction. We discussed what it meant for people of exceeding age, then called it a night.

What I am saying is, I have made it a point of keeping active in ministry as soon as I got home, just as I did when returning from Swaziland. As of now, I am packing to go to Mexico for several days. I am taking a guy from Carlsbad, NM down to Juarez with me so he can get a taste of missions. I will be back Monday afternoon.

Maybe soon I will tell you what kind of a conclusion Ms. Guinn, Mrs. Barista-lady, and I came to on Christian staleness.

Have a blessed weekend.

Some Things

2011-01-10T19:59:00.000-08:00

Lots to do:

How to make coffee at work:

Joshua

Rest in the Lord

2011-01-09T14:55:00.000-08:00

There was a very specific reason I was going to write this but I think I lost it. Here's what I remember or really, how things are.

I may have already informed my bloggies of it but I was tired when I left Sudan. I didn't realize how tired I was until I got home. The infamiliarities, the work, the spiritual battle, the lack of personal space (both culturally and physically sharing a room) all started to really drain me. I stopped sleeping well. I wouldn't be able to go to bed until late, my brain would not rest, and I felt really tired in the morning. Things were just dragging me down.

Then I got home and realized how tired I was. I noticed how much easier I slept here. I noticed my spiritual distance from the Creator. I noticed that I hadn't noticed it before. There is a thing about being submersed in missions that is very well capable of taking your thoughts away from God. We say this about many things and they are all true; when we get too focused on the work and less focused on God, we become distant. Well, I saw my creeping away from God and couldn't figure out what to do about it. Then I made it home and finally saw it. During my first eight weeks, I was on top of it. The daily studying and teaching kept me close to God's plan and purpose but then after it left, I slowly left that place of vision too. Proverbs 29:18 states, "Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, But happy is he who keeps the law." Without a vision of what God is calling me to and from, I quickly lose my footing and fall.

I hate falling. I climb rock walls, run, jump over things, ride motorcycles, fly airplanes, and falling is never fun. So I got home and realized that I had fallen from my total devotion to God's callings and voice. So now I am learning how to dig deep again. I am starting over with so many things. It is good to get a refreshing but it is better to stay on track the first time.

So now here I am, resting in the Lord, after a service that wore me out. I am finding what direction I ended up facing and turning back to where He is leading me. Rest is nice. Rest is sweet and rest is what He is giving me. Next time, I will know how to stay focused longer and not drift as quickly. It's all learning and I am a very eager student. Rest and regain vision, that is my current mission.

Joshua

Organization Required

2011-01-02T19:07:00.000-08:00

I spoke to a small group of people about Sudan today. Well, I guess it would be more accurate to say that I rambled and showed some photos. Haha. I realized that I really need to organize my photos into "important" and "not important" folders so I can have about thirty to show in total from the trip so I don't spend an hour running through photos of sticks and toads. People get bored with that.

It was good to share my time with someone else. As I told you, I am a story teller and my love language is quality time. Those two lead into a never ending story proceeding from my lips to anyone who will hear. I guess it is time to organize myself and get out there to tell the story...

Joshua

2010-12-30T05:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the delay. I am home safe and sound! The snow in Minnesota didn't stop our plane from leaving the ground! It was getting pretty white out there while I was waiting but the snow plows never stopped running. We had an hour and a half delay due to a late airplane and no pilot but they sorted it out and I made it to Albuquerque where I met my parents who took me to a motel for the night.

I have started work, today is my third day. I have no problem transitioning back into the rhythm of work but I need to be careful I don't get too comfortable just making money and consuming food. I've got Kingdom work to do.

Again, thank you everyone who helped get me to and back from Sudan through prayer, spiritual and emotional support, money, and anything else that I may have not noticed. This shaped me in ways I do not yet understand.

Joshua

10:05 to Minnesota

2010-12-19T23:21:00.000-08:00

Amsterdam Airport

v

Praise God for a great adventure filled with learning and serving! There are many memories I am already churning withing the crucible of my mind.

I just finished the first eight hour leg of my flight back to America. I now am in the airport with a five hour layover before another long flight, probably nine hours, to Minnesota where I will get another five hour layover before a final four hour flight into Albuquerque, NM.

I already started reflecting on my time in Tonj. When I arrived in Nairobi, my first thought was, “Wow! Everything is so... complex.” When in Sudan I watched “The Gods Must Be Crazy.” It was a really funny movie and in the beginning it mentioned how when we improve our lives with technology it just means we have to learn how to use the technology, learn how to build it, learn to live with it, and all kind of other life-complicating detriments. This was especially obvious to me since I came from a place where gifts are not given for Christmas to a fairly westernized city where “Christmas” was on the prowl for green. I do not remember seeing anyone smile while running around town. I was at a supermarket with a man (I will call him Joseph) so he could buy a new phone since he dropped his in a barrel of water. While waiting in line, the lady next to us was complaining to the salesman that he was not doing his job correctly. There were four other people at the register being helped by one man, and we were still waiting. I saw this and didn't find a problem with it. I figured that once the salesman was finished with the over-abrupt and needy woman, he would help us. We waited for about five minutes before Joseph got annoyed and said, “He doesn't want to help us. We will come back later.”

It was so strange to come from a place of slow and simple to fast and complex. The traffic is insane. People are pushy. Life is expensive. Television and cell phones are NEEDS. I don't think it's reverse culture shock, I think it is a deeper understanding of a thought I already had. Or maybe it is just a re-realization of something I already understood. Who knows. But what I am saying is that life is quite intense and acclimating is going to be with a little apprehension.

On the other side of things, I am looking as how to continue ministry when I get home. I don't know what is next but I bet that I will bake a couple loaves of bread *reminisce*. I will try and continue to tell stores once I get home. There is a lot I have not told due to time or desire. But I have an abundance of photos and plenty of stories. I will try and keep you informed. KEEP ME ACCOUNTABLE if you want to hear any stories.

Joshua

I'm Headed Home

2010-12-18T00:48:00.000-08:00

So my blog is out of date. Surprise, surprise. I have been busier than a termite fixing a hole in a tunnel. I finished installing the new solar system on the sixteenth. I got up early on the seventeenth to finish programing the battery chargers then left at 9:45 on a charter flight to Nairobi. I am currently sitting in a coffee shop here in Nairobi with Abraham (a Ugandan Reverend who was helping build the new clinic in Tonj) trying to catch up on my coffee love affair.

I will send out a newsletter soon and more info later today. Be blessed!

Joshua

Lo, We Have Water!

2010-12-09T19:29:00.000-08:00

Wow, talk about a blog loser. Here's another post...

Including today, since it is only 6:28 in the morning, I have eight days left in Sudan. That means six days of work. Man! I have a lot to do! Maybe that is why I have been working so much...

Abraham's Bricks:

My main project has been solar installations. I have never dealt with solar before I came here but I am discovering all kinds of stuff now. My first solar job was to install a solar water pump with the panels and switch, then get the pump down the well. Once the pump is completely installed, we will be saving a lot of money in fuel costs and generator repairs. When we need water, we run a generator. Now, when we will be pumping water all day into our tank and using it when needed. We don't have a battery backup for this pump, so it will only work during daylight hours.

I must hand it to Mike and Maguok. They tackled the pump with no inhibition. I just turned the clamp to keep things from falling to the bottom of the well. They did all the heavy lifting and hard labor. Once we got the electric pump down the well, we plugged it in and...

Now I am working on another solar project... fourteen panels, twenty batteries equaling a total of 6.4 kWh, a 3000W inverter, and no experience. I think it is going to work!

Joshua

Where Are the Pilgrims?

2010-11-26T03:04:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! It is kind of ironic to celebrate Thanksgiving in Sudan but it also bring you to think about why are are celebrating the day. When everyone around you is asking what you are talking about, "Today is a holiday? What's all the food for? Why do you celebrate this day?" Good questions.

So we had a Thanksgiving feast here in Tonj, Sudan after a full day's work. George, a Kenyan staff who is our Laboratory Technologist, said, "This is my first ever Thanksgiving and I am thankful for that." We encouraged him to not let it be his last. Haha. He seemed to think the day was a good idea.

The focus of thanksgiving is a great idea. We all come together and celebrate how good God is. We thank Him for all that He is and what He has done for us. One day a year set apart just to thank God. Wonderful!

This Thanksgiving did not include my relatives from home but it did include many spiritual relatives in the Kingdom of God. We didn't eat turkey (it was misplaced in the Kenyan airport) but we had goat instead. We had stuffing, sweet potatoes, mash potatoes, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie to go with our rosemary roasted goat. Quite tasty, I must say.

Then this morning at devotions I saw something very nice. I was looking outside under the thatch roof of the church building and saw fall colors. You see, it is heating up here in Tonj. The temperature is increasing here during the winter, not decreasing. All the heat causes the leaves to fall off the tropical trees. So I saw a lot of yellow leaves on the ground along with brown grass, a little green, and if felt just like Autumn. Perfect! I was really missing fall. This morning kind of completed the gap for me.

Then later I got the opportunity to talk with all my family back in my country. My parents and siblings all went to visit family in Phoenix and I got the chat with them on Thanksgiving day through Skype. Just a little taste of home :)

So that's my Thanksgiving in Tonj. We all spoke about what we were thankful for during diner and I said, "I am thankful for how God never gives up on us. He is so consistent in His love for us. He provides even when we can't provide for ourselves. And He leads us down a path that glorifies Him even when we don't know the way. In spite of all we do, God will still be glorified and I am thankful for that." Of course, I am also very thankful for my family and how they are so supportive of my work here in Sudan, but a lot of other people already said family, so I decided not to. Thank you family, mom, dad, Jed, Jessica, and Justin, for helping me along the way. Only be being away for family do I know how great they are.

Which makes me remind everyone... I WILL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS! Just sayin'. Haha. My mother pleaded and I gave in. I will be leaving Sudan December 17, then leaving Kenya at 22:55 on the 19th. I will arrive in Albuquerque at 19:09 on the 20th. Pray that weather permits me to get home. If the roads are bad enough, pray that I can find a guy I briefly met who lives right outside Albuquerque and flies a little plane.

Okay. End.

Joshua

Continuation of "Meltdown"

2010-11-19T06:30:00.000-08:00

So it started with Suzy saying, "Dennis and Pritti are not coming back today." Turns out there was some problem with late flights and such that I have since forgotten. So our main medical nurse is not returning this week and Pritti, our pharmacist is not coming back either. They will come back later, maybe two weeks later. They are currently taking a rest in Nairobi, Kenya and have been there for ten days. We all thought, "Okay, that stinks, but okay." We were still expecting some people from Florida later. We had some doctors and a teacher for the pastors coming in later.

Then we were getting the team from California ready to go early because the plane was going to be here sooner than planned. Suzy got a call and was informed that one of the seats for the three guys from Florida got sold from under our noses! Not cool at all. Then started a dilemma of trying to organize a flight for this guy who was already in Kenya waiting to fly into Sudan. Meanwhile...

Back at the airstrip we were waiting for the plane. We arrived an hour early which is just fine with me. It is better to be way early than a little late. The plane arrived and we unloaded the 900kg of medical supplies we had on-board. We loaded up the team's belongings and while doing so, one of the girls from the team turned pale white and got dizzy. A couple people held onto her and she fainted! Right there in front of me into a nurse's arms while loading the plane. They got her loaded into the plane where she could sit down and we finished loading. She came back pretty quick and they made sure she was hydrated and doing okay.

Then everyone loaded up and were getting ready to leave as the pilot did a quick pre-flight of the plane. He was in a hurry due to a really short turn-around but still took the time to do a quick check of the plane (great pilot!) He stopped at the prop. We saw him fiddling with something under the spinner (the shiny cone on the front of the airplane) in front of the prop. Not good. I could hear him rattling something. Turns out there was a piece of plastic floating around in there under the spinner. Everyone off! No one had a leatherman on them (even me, surprisingly), so we were frantically searching for a screwdriver to take off the spinner. We would see if it was an easy fix. After using the pilot's multi-tool and a passenger's Swiss Army Knive, we got the spinner off and found the culprit. It was a grommet that fit on the end of the driveshaft to stabilize the spinner. A little tape and a few minutes later, it was secured. Back on the plane!

The plane took off and made it to Juba with no problem. But now our compound manager, Mike, is gone. Ahh! Him and his wife, Amy, are taking a little rest in Nairobi. Mike will be back in two weeks and Amy in four. Now I am in charge of the generator (I think) and Sabet just took on a lot more responsibility that Mike has been relieving him of. It will be a weird transition for the next two weeks.

So now there is still the problem of getting the five people in Kenya here and paying for the massive extra cost. It's been a stressful day for the authorities on the compound but I reassured that God's still got it. We know that everything will pan out. It is difficult now, but as my dad says, it all fine once you live through it. True, true.

Stephanie has been having a rough week. Rachel feels strangely tired. I am still coughing but improving and am maybe a little homesick. Suzy and Sabet are ironing out all the logistical nightmare problems. A refrigerator is down. I forgot to turn off the generator, so it has been running all day. A snake was spotted by the girls' building but got away. There are a couple other things that I have since forgotten, but it has been a crazy day. Oh my!

God's got it.

Joshua

Meltdown

2010-11-19T02:59:00.000-08:00

Missed flights, sold reservations, fainting girl, broken airplane, absent compound manager, etc.

It's been a crazy day and it is only 14:00. Wanna hear more?

Still Congested

2010-11-18T23:14:00.000-08:00

So, the stuffy nose is kind of gone. I am not having constant sinus drainage, but I have a really deep chest congestion that makes me cough and sound like I am dying. I have been having a wheezing sound when I breathe deep for over two weeks now. I just started taking antibiotics today. 500mg of CIPRO twice a day. Let's hope it works.

From Dusk 'till Dusk

2010-11-18T06:20:00.000-08:00

Genesis 1:31 ". . . And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day."

What was there before the light? There was darkness. There was darkness before these was light. Darkness prevailed until God created light. If light never comes, darkness will continue. In the world, we are the light. We carry the light of Christ into a lost and dying world, a world that has no hope. If Christ's body, the Church, does nothing, darkness will continue. Light comes and does away with darkness.

More to come...

Congested

2010-11-15T09:03:00.000-08:00

Please say a prayer for me. I have been coughing for over a week. Yesterday it turned into a cold. Yesterday was a lot of coughing and sinus drainage with a really sore throat. Last night was very restless. Today it progressed to congestion and a headache. I know it will just take time, but pray that I would handle it well. I feel like my head is going to explode. I keep thinking I need to find an A/C and sit under it but then I remember, there isn't one here. Maybe I can "chill" out in the refrigerator?

Cool Day

2010-11-15T01:58:00.000-08:00

Today is a nice day. It is overcast and the air is cool. It just sprinkled a little and things are quiet. I like these days.

Joshua

October 2010 Newsletter

2010-11-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

Here's my newsletter for October.

Joshua's October 2010 Newsletter

Kalachuchi (Plumeria Acuminata)

2010-11-12T10:21:00.001-08:00

This flower comes from the tree, Kalachuchi (Plumeria Acuminata). It's an ornamental tree with oblong, shiny leaves and thick branches that ooze white sap when cut. It's a really neat tree and the flowers are extremely fragrant. They are native to Mexico and also grow in the Philippines (and Sudan.) The petals also come in shades of orange, red, and pink as well as the white that you see here. If you can find one of these in the US, get it for me and I will plant it at home. :)

Joshua

Shootin' Hoops

2010-11-12T09:38:00.000-08:00

The past two days we have been doing a basketball outreach. We load up the entire team from California and drive a couple minutes to an old school with some hoops and a court. We play alone for a moment until everyone arrives, then we start drills. The team will play some simple and fun drills with the little kids while the big guys watch then we trade to drills with the big guys.

After the drills, our Cali. team plays against a Sudanese team. Man, the Americans are SO out of shape. It's kind of funny.

Today we played with the kids for a while then everyone was brought together for a time of devotion and hearing the gospel. I was off to the side during this. I was actually talking to some other kids about their lives and about Christ. I don't know much about the people's attentiveness during this time or their response, but it seems to have gone well. I spoke to one kid, Chol, 16 years old, who said he wanted to be a priest. I told him I was teaching pastors for a while but now I am working construction at the clinic. I asked him if he wanted to come to Church with us on Sunday. He said he would. I didn't really believe him, so I made him say so five times, then shake my hand, then assure me again that he would keep his word. I am pretty sure he will show up. I hope he does. He goes to the Catholic Church I think. There are quite a few people who want to be priests for the elevated status they receive and because they don't have to do manual labor, so I am not sure what his intentions are, but I hope to see him Sunday.

Then the big guys played a game and we headed back home.

Joshua

Sunset

2010-11-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

Here's a sunset photo for you.

Joshua

Back Online

2010-11-10T04:26:00.000-08:00

I am back online! I have been gone for ages. My computer finally lost its last wireless leg and I was without internet but my dear parents sent me a wireless card trough a Church team from California and I am back online!

If Sue is reading this, thank you so much for the card! Hand written cards/notes mean worlds to me. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and sincerity.

So, in the care package I got New Mexican chili powder! Woo hoo! Dove dark chocolate, almonds, M&Ms, instant cream of wheat, two cards, some fancy soap, and I am sure something else. It is going to be great to throw some chili powder on my food. Yes sir!

And... what else?

The team. There is a team from Rancho del Rey in California here (that is a Church.) The pastor of the Church, Matt, is teaching the pastors for two weeks and then another pastor is coming in to teach another two weeks. We have some guys helping make bricks for the new, super massive medical clinic. We also have some girls helping in the clinic with registration, lab work, pharmacy stuff, and helping Stephanie with pregnant women. They are great people and they seem to be enjoying themselves here. It's exciting to have things mixed up a little.

Also, Pritti, our pharmacist is out on leave along with Dennis, our clinical officer (chief doctor dude.) So I got moved into the room where the Kenyans (and now one Ugandan) sleep. I am reunited with my original roommate, George. He says it's fate. Funny.

I have been working in construction for a while now. I helped install sinks and plumb the old (current) medical clinic. We installed three sinks and all the stuff to go with them. It will be great for the workers to have water. David, a Kenyan, is the mastermind of the whole operation. I am just the grunt worker. Haha. It's good. I finally have a tan and my callouses are coming back. I got two nice big gashes out of my hand already because I have become so clumsy. They are healing though.

Alright, that's the end of this post. Here's two photos of me and some peeps hanging out. You know, chillin'.

Stephanie stitching together some photos on my computer with HUGIN:

Sitting on the well with George and Stacie:

P.S. Newsletter coming soon.

Joshua

The Toad

2010-10-31T23:16:00.000-07:00

Here I was, reading the book Into the Wild, when all of a sudden, there was a toad. Not uncommon. Toads venture into my room through the gap under my door. Something drives the up and my steps are a very easy climb for them, so they soon find their way into my room. I immediately reached down to shoo it back out the door but noticed it was chasing a cricket. I froze. The cricket froze. The frog froze. Then it was a stalemate. Had either of them seen me? Who would make the next move? I immediately vowed to not fail at this showdown. I waited, and waited. I wanted to see the demise of this ugly cricket. I wanted to see it masticated by this little toad. Then the cricket moved and the frog jumped at it! Too slow. The cricket made a quick evasion and saved his little black thorax. But wait, the cricket is not for off and the toad is persistent. I craned my body upside down to watch the action unfold under my chair. Then I moved to the other side. Three more moves. Then, as soon as the toad was within jumping range. . . the cricket disappeared. Woo hoo! Go toad! Then it was time for a photo-op with the victor!

Then out the door the little victor found itself. Hehe.

The Next Leg

2010-10-31T23:15:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day of my teaching the pastors. Strange.

Teaching was my initial calling for this trip and now whatever comes next is almost unexpected and new! It's kind of exciting really. I am really expecting a lot of building and mechanic work. There are a few things (well, maybe a lot) on the Land Cruiser that need looked at, so if I get permission, I will do those things. I also was just informed of the need of plumbing in the medical clinic and started that Saturday. I seem to be getting a good idea of my next set of tasks, but all this may change.

The past six weeks of teaching has taught me worlds about God, people, and me. I knew this was going to be an adventure (for the sake of not teaching a lot before) but it was extremely smooth going. It was an adventure in my walk with God, but not so much in the chaotic ways I was thinking. It was good to teach.

Anyway, things have been great. God has stretched His hand over this teaching and blessed it immensely. I have been assured that this was His calling for me. He called me to something I did not know and then provided in it. He has grown me in faith and in obedience. I am sure He will continue until I am gone, and will continue with this ministry until He removes it if He ever does.

Thank you Father for your teaching, instruction, and guidance through this time of traversing the unknown.

Joshua

Visiting

2010-10-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

So, I go over to the pastors' home from time to time and check out how they are doing. I like to spend time with them so I know how they are outside of class and let them know that I care about them. I went over there the other day and they were goofing around, dancing to some music. It was nice to see them just having fun, doing what they felt like. It reminds me that they are more than just teachers and students. They are men that like to have fun.

Joshua

Frogs and Scorpions

2010-10-22T09:45:00.000-07:00

Question: Do frogs eat scorpions? I killed a scorpion this morning; I
found it under some dirty clothes. I didn't dispose of it, I just left
it on the floor in my room, but I went to look for it just now and...
it's gone! I get a lot of toads and lizards in my room, so I am
wondering, will one of those two eat a dead scorpion?

Joshua

Back Up and Running

2010-10-18T10:18:00.000-07:00

The generator is finished! I spent most of Saturday getting my fingernails dirty and we now have another working generator. That's really important since it is also our only welder. Whew! For you mechanic people, here's the low down. I ended up with an email back from the NSM Generator distributor in South Africa and they told me to hit the rotor with a rubber mallet. So, I did that, except with a metal hammer, and it came right off. When I got the piston out, the oil ring looked to be complete stuck in the piston from sludge that I found all throughout the engine. Then when I went to replace the rings, the replacements were too thick to fit in the piston grooves. The oil ring fit though so I replaced it (the other two looked fine). Then when I went to clean the head and valves, I noticed the reason for no compression, the intake valve wasn't seating due to a buildup of white carbon. White carbon? Weird. But that's what I saw. So since I don't have another valve, no machining equipment and no valve lapping compound, I took a brillo pad after it and cleaned everything I could get off. It seems to have better compression and will continue working for quite a bit more time. I put everything back together and it runs great!

For you non-mechanics, things were dirty and I cleaned them, replaced some stuff, and now it works!

I found this:

And this:

And now they look like this:

And this:

So praise God for another disaster adverted.

Joshua

One in Ten

2010-10-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

Psalm 63:1-8

O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;

My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,

In a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Thus I have seen you in the sanctuary,

To see Your power and Your glory.

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,

My lips will praise You.

So I will bless You as long as I live;

I will lift up my hands in Your name.

My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness,

And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.

When I remember You on my bed,

I meditate on You in the night watches,

For You have been my help,

And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.

My soul clings to You;

Your right hand upholds me. . . .

In trouble times, we seek God. That is well known to almost every believer and also to a great number of the lost. It is nothing to hide and God definitely uses it to bring His possession back to Him. If you have read through the old testament of the Bible, you must have seen this. When God's people were turning away from Him, they would go through a time of trial so that their minds and hearts would come back to Him. Then the other thought that comes up with returning to God in trials is this; we should seek our Father even when we are not in a trial. This is a very good and honest thought. We should seek God at all times, but we do not. I do not know anyone who has been able to seek God every moment of their life. As people, we flawed and unable to remain in the Faith. So, God uses trials to bring us back and remind us of our bodies being His property and our souls abiding with Christ.

So, this psalm, written by David, was a song of seeking God. David was in the wilderness of Judah and was singing for the salvation of God to come. He was declaring the Truths he knew. He said, “My soul thirsts . . . my flesh yearns . . .” (v1.) Does you soul thirst for God? Does your flesh yearn for our Lord? In trial, I am sure you do, and that is one reason for it. When we thirst and yearn for something we seek it out and try to posses it. If my flesh is yearning for water because I am in the desert, I will walk miles and miles to find water. We all have deserts or wildernesses that we go through. Seek God in them so that they are constructive and not deadly.

Then David says in verses six and seven, “I meditate on You . . . For You have been my help . . .” David did not forget what God had done for Him. After the trial was over and even in the next, David continued to consider the help God had given Him. David kept on praising God after the storm was over and into the next torrent. Luke 17:11-19 tells the story of ten lepers who were healed by Jesus. If you have not read it, I encourage you to go there now and read. All ten lepers were headed of their leprosy but only one returned, glorifying God, and fell at Jesus' feet to thank Him. That one healed leper was also healed in his soul. Do not forget to thank God for the times He saves you from the waves. Praise God for the salvation of the past and the present.

When I was in San Diego, CA before I came to Sudan, I went swimming with a couple people I had met. Now I am a desert rat. I do not know a whole lot about water. I drowned in a lake when I was nine years old. I love water but it seems to have something against me. My revival from the bottom of the lake was an absolute miracle and a complete work of God. I still thank God for that. So when I went to Mission Bay in San Diego, I did not have any knowledge about riptides and the like. I was floating in the tide, waiting for a wave with another guy who grew up in San Diego, but there weren't any waves. Then he looked over at me and said, “Pick a direction, left or right.” He has a sense of concern in his voice and I said, “Left.” He said, “Swim right, we are in a riptide.” Only then did I notice how for out from the shore we had drifted. So I started swimming left and after a while, I began swimming back to the shore. But there was a problem... I was getting really tired. I got so tired that I started yelling for help. I do not float in water and I wasn't able to tread anymore water. I had begun to sink. The two friends I was with were not able to help me and the lifeguard did not see my distress. So I prayed. I was under the water, out of breath and out of energy, praying for God to save me from the waves again. I actually started praying a little earlier but now my prayers were more severe. “God! Don't let this happen again! You saved me once, I know you can save me now! Please, Jesus, get me to shore, just get me to shore!” Then I swam, sank, swam, sank, then I could start feeling the sand when I was in the trough of a wave. Then, after a while, I was able to stand, just barely. The whole time, I was thanking God for this salvation. He had brought about life and I was thankful. As I walked through progressively shallower water, I continued in prayer and nearly fell over from exhaustion as the small waves lapped at my calves.

God knew exactly how much I could handle. He knew where my breaking point was and my Father knew how to best make me focus on Him. I then laid in the sand for a few minutes, breathing hard and aching everywhere. I had a headache and I was lightheaded. God had brought me through the waves I could not handle alone. It was not easy, but it was finished. For the next hour and a half I could not walk strait, everything was really bright, and I had a horrible headache. God is good and I will not forget when he saves me. He upholds me and I praise Him.

Praise Him also. Be the one in ten.

Joshua

Wrenching Woes

2010-10-13T04:11:00.000-07:00

I guess it is just fair to blog again, right? How about something simple with a picture?

This is the generator I am taking apart.
(photo coming)

It doubles as a welder and is very important to our operation. It was our main compound generator until I got generator #2 fixed (coil) and now it is just a welder and possible backup generator. The reason we ceased using it as primary compound generator is that it burns oil like it's gas. So I figured I needed to replace the rings. Then I ran into a problem. I can't get the generator rotor off the crankshaft! Grrr... So I am stumped. We really need to fix it. It has gone from medium compression to nothing over the course of two weeks. I don't know what to do. I will be calling the company today. They are in Italy, so that should be fun. But anyway, it's just another day in Africa. The work never ends for a mechanic. Sure, I am a teacher of biblical truth but that doesn't mean I don't still like to get grease under my nails. As a matter of fact, I am a little concerned. My callouses are shrinking and my skin is getting lighter. I need more sun and work. I don't want to be a girlie man!

Joshua

Do You Speak My Language?

2010-10-07T08:23:00.000-07:00

Five Love Languages

I just got finished reading this amazing book. I loved reading it. Not only did it give me an IDEA of how to better love my wife when I get married, but it also gave me a little more understanding into my childhood and why I am what I am.

My love language, no doubt, is quality time. I know someone truly cares about me and loves me when they are willing to spend time on me. If they are willing to invest themselves in me, I see it that what they enjoy is me. Then, when I feel unloved, I shrink back, which makes the situation worse. I was an avid loner through most of my school years because I never felt very loved. No one ever set out to enjoy time with me. So instead of telling someone, I would figure they just didn't care and I would try and find a little bit if happiness on my own. So now, when someone is willing to invest a little bit of time or thought in me, I cling to it. Maybe I cling too much. I am willing to do almost anything to keep that love close to me. But then that also can be dangerous. I am able to cling too much which then pushes the person away.

Step one to recovery is seeing the problem. Even though this book was intended for married couples, it is very relevant to nearly every relationship, and the author says so.

Now I have to be careful and be intentional with my thoughts and how I handle this need for quality time. I also have a secondary language, words of affirmation. It isn't really to the extent of saying, “Good job on . . .” or “You are great at . . .” When I need is to NOT be put down. That is one of the most detrimental actions to my need for love.

Now I probably just exposed way too much of my heart and who I am on a blog, but I am fine with that. I encourage you to read the book. Even if you find it ridiculous and useless, it is worth reading.

Joshua

Coffee is Back!

2010-10-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

Today is day number eight. Actually, it is ten with one cup after two days because of a headache induced by caffeine withdrawals. I haven't had any yet, but I am thinking this afternoon is going to have a movie for me and a cup of coffee to consume. Mmmm...

I am preaching in two hours! Pray please? :)

Joshua

MegaVoice

2010-09-28T22:59:00.000-07:00

Hello my peeps! I should update more than one day a week but things haven't allowed me to do so. One big reason is because of my computer. This Mac was purchased in November of 2006, so it is nearly four years old. The WiFi card on it is about to give up its last spirit so I usually don't have any inernet. If any of you would like to assist me in this dilemma, I would greatly appreciate it. I am in need of an external wireless card (USB maybe) that is compatible with Mac (OSX 10.4.11). I haven't looked online for one much (because I don't have internet or postal mail) so I don't know how much of a miracle I am asking for, but I trust that there is a solution. So, if you are willing and able to help, my mother is sending out a care package in a month or so and it can be sent with her. I appreciate any help you are able to provide. You can email her at griffindiane575 (at) gmail.com

Onto real news. . . We are up to eleven pastors in attendance right now! I am still missing my usual translator since he had to remain home for a while to take care of some wedding stuff. Please pray for his quick return. I had a translator dilema yesterday as my assigned translator never showed. So almost an hour of teaching was taken up looking for someone to translate. We ended up getting a guy who didn't know a lot of English but was willing to help. I had to simplify every sentence in order to make it able for him to translate. He helped a lot and then Albino (our backup) finally showed up forty-five minutes from the class ending. He is fluent and I got to cover some good stuff before the day's end. He should be here today also. Please just pray that God would provide a reliable servant for this very legitimate need.

Other news, we are starting to record the New Testament in Dinka today! I set up the audio recording equipment Monday and gave the readers an overview yesterday. All the pastors ended up coming in and we sang two songs in English even though I couldn't really tell if it was English or not. But I have it recorded! Maybe in the next couple days I will get it edited and put online somewhere so you can listen... if I can get internet ;) Once we get the Bible recorded we will be editing the material and putting it in an audio player called MegaVoice. It is a solar powered hand-held player that anyone can operate. Then we can distribute them so people can listen to the Bible in their native tongue and they don't need to read (as most of them are illiterate.) Please pray for this ministry too.

I have a new setup for my newsletters and they should be prettier and perfectly usable next time around. I had the software the whole time I was just ignorant of that fact. Um, what else? I have a rash. I have had it for over two weeks now and it is really itchy. It started on my thighs and has moved to... almost everywhere; feet, arms, chest. It is really annoying. Please pray for me on this too. But with all my prayer requests don't forget to pray for other people too. Haha. I don't want to be a prayer hog. Life here is still progressing fine. It doesn't feel like I have been here twenty-one days. I don't think it will ever feel like I have been gone as long as I have. I am missing some home stuff though. I am especially missing the freedom I had at home. I was able to come and go as I pleased. If I wanted to go walk over a mountain on the weekend, great! But not now. I live inside four walls with one momentary, guarded walks outside. I am not that domestic but God is keeping me sane for now. All for the Gospel! I would trade this time here for home though. It is a blessed time of studying God's word and sharing it with people who want to learn. What else do I need? God's blessing and a purpose. That's enough. Praise God for His calling!

P.S. I am not drinking coffee anymore. At least for four more days. I got addicted and I am breaking myself of it. Seven days without coffee makes one strong.

Joshua

A New Session

2010-09-22T04:09:00.001-07:00

Pastors are back! Isn't it exciting? I arrived in Tonj thirteen days ago. I taught for two days, then the pastors went home for a week. They were scheduled to go home later but since I arrived during the teaching, Sabet decided it would be best for them to go home right after I arrived in order to let me prepare a bit. Now that I have had a week to prepare, I am excited they are back! There were nine of them in class today but more will be arriving over the next couple days. We are studying Romans and Sabet is teaching on 1 Corinthians. After I finish Romans we will begin on 2 Corinthians.

I teach for about three hours a day, minus a break at 10:20. It is a lot of teaching, but it is going well. We have quite a bit of discussion, which I appreciate, and they are very involved. It makes me so happy when I ask them a difficult question and they are able to answer it well. It is even better when they refer to other passages of scripture to back up what they said. It shows me where they are in their learning and it also shows that they are paying attention to the teachings. We went over some deep stuff today in Romans 6-8 and tomorrow will be just as deep, but they are getting it! They understand! When I ask them questions, they are able to answer. My only hope is that they apply what they learn. There are cultural misguidings that need refuted in order for them to wholly serve and obey God. If they apply what they are learning in these classes, they will be counter-cultural. That is a lot to ask, but it is what Jesus told us to do. Don't get me wrong. They don't need to conform to Western culture. I don't want that at all. They still need to relate to their congregations. What I am saying is that there are practices within their culture that are sinful. These things need to be seen as sinful and the pastors need to take personal stands against them. It is a big step to go against these things, but if they truly desire to serve God in their villages, they can do it. Their love for God can overcome any boundary. He can make them stand.

So, I am excited about this new six week session, but I need a lot of prayer because six weeks is ninety hours of teaching! Yikes! God promised He would help me to accomplish this task so I have faith in that, but there is still something mysterious about prayer that I can't understand yet I know it is vital. So, please pray as I teach for twenty-eight more days before the next break. Also pray for the pastors. Pray that they hear these things from God and APPLY them to their own lives and not just preach them.

Faithfully,
Joshua

Mudding!

2010-09-15T07:55:00.000-07:00

Today is my seventh day in Sudan. I am so blessed to assimilate well into different surroundings and cultures because this is a far cry from New Mexico. No doubt, all my previous travels were one way God was working to prepare me for this trip. That is not to say living here is easy, it is just not as hard as it might have been otherwise.

The climate is entirely different from what I expect of the Sudan. It is wet here. Very wet. It is actually so wet that the other day when Mike went to go pick up some charcoal he didn't come back. An hour long trip, starting at 10:00, turned into all day ordeal. After they were unsuccessful at finding enough charcoal at the first place they continued on to another location but then Mike was instructed to cut across a flat covered in grass. Bad idea. Rain, flat sandy ground, tall grass blocking your view, a truck with bald tires and not 4WD; bad idea. They got stuck. Then Sabet and I went to go pull him out. Then we got stuck. Then we got both unstuck. Then we got both stuck again. Then finally we got the second truck unstuck. And since I only took a half liter with my and Mike didn't have any other water the whole day, we headed back home. Sabet went back with some other guys to get the original truck unstuck again but never came back with it. This is the second day since it got stuck and it just rained a lot in the past hour. I don't know when we will have an opportunity to get it unstuck but it is still sitting out there in the middle of an open plain with eight foot grass. So, life here can be difficult.

I have also been studying Romans and preparing for when the pastors come back from break. They will be back Monday and then we will have a full six week session! I am so overcome at how God is stretching me. I will teaching for three hours a day and five days a week. That is a lot of preparation before hand in order to speak that much. I really like asking questions because it gives me a chance to reorganize my thoughts, it engages the pastors, and it assures me that they are understanding the material. I am definitely looking forward to next week when they get back but I am trying to get as far ahead as I can right now so I have a little bit of a buffer.

I, personally, am learning about grace still. There is a balance between grace, works, and life that has taken me a lot of time to understand. Anything I do as service to God should be an act of love, not an act of work. That doesn't mean it can't be hard, but it shouldn't be with the intention of paying God for anything. Our works are an outward expression of an inward dwelling of the Spirit. They aren't a means to receive the inward change. Anyway, I will post more on that later.

As for now, dinner is ready! It is time to eat!

In Service,
Joshua

It's Not For Sale

2010-09-12T05:46:00.000-07:00

Sunday! Today was my first Church service here in Tonj, Sudan. It wasn't as active as I had figured it would be. It definitely wasn't like a Zambian service. We sang some Dinka songs then we sang some American songs (which the locals also knew.) Then something amazing happened. We had corporate prayer! Yeah! We had a time when we all just met God in prayer together and anyone who wished was able to pray! You sure won't find anything like that at home. Sure, I understand that there are too many people in services back home to give them that opportunity, but we don't have much of anything for prayer. Sunday mornings are focused on singing and learning but not really prayer. I just know that I really appreciated the prayer time this morning. Then I was hit by something. I am not entirely sure what led me to realize it, but God showed me something great!

I have been wondering what is missing from me and from the people here. What is it that I can't quite grasp? Almost like I am missing a vital element from my diet and things aren't quite right. It has been this way before I came to Sudan. So God showed me this morning. I have been missing the simple love that comes with fellowship and knowing Christ. I think it is that I am always focused on what I can learn, how to get closer to my Father in Heaven, but I overlook this life. I try and set my mind on eternity so much that I steal from the blessings of here and now. I forget about the simple love that comes with having a brother in Christ to talk to. I forget about how great it is to just be nice to someone regardless of who they are. I forget that we all make mistakes, things will never be perfect here, and that is okay! I don't always have to be on a problem solving mission for the universe. Sometimes I just need to slow my overactive mind down and let things be. Don't loose sight of my Master but also enjoy the gifts He gives here.

I like to think that the more I work and strive to be productive here, the more pleasing I will be to God. But then I forget that simple grace again. I forget that I can't DO anything to please God. He is pleased with me just fine as His child. I have the wonderful opportunity to just rest in Him.

So I think that is what is missing. I think it is missing with me and I think it is missing with so many pastors here. They think that if they get an education (even that which I am giving them) they will be better off in life. They are looking to further their education rather then to "love your brother." They are looking for an opportunity to be served by their communities rather than to humble themselves and serve. But this is just kind of a first impression. I can be wrong. I actually brought up the story of Jesus washing the disciples' feet the other day. They know what the Word says. Will the apply it? Paul knew it. Paul also had to be blinded by the Glory of Jesus Christ and be healed in order to obey what He already knew. Will I apply what I teach in a practical way? Grace is a gift. Teaching is a lot of work. Don't overlook the gift because of your busyness.

-grace is a gift-

Ephesians 2:8
For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Encouraged

2010-09-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

I have landed, feet on the ground, in a full sprint. I got to Tonj on Wednesday the eighth in the afternoon after two, two and a half hour lights in a Caravan. We were met by a large group of people, greeting us as we landed. I also met Stephanie again who I had only previously seen in Mexico for two days while down in Cuauhtemoc. It is a complete God thing on how we met and why we stayed in touch. She is the one who invited me on this trip. She is currently serving as a missionary midwife her in Tonj. However, when we landed, she was on her way out. She has been here for a few months and is now taking a short leave in Nairobi, Kenya. So as I landed, she was loading up to be taken out. It was a fast turn around but we did get an opportunity to exchange hugs and get a photo.

Then Wednesday night was a chance to get acquainted with the compound and the people I will be living with. It was a lot to take in and I only got four hours of sleep the previous night so as soon as I found my bed I laid down to relax for a moment. Well, a momentary relaxing turned into sleep. Oops. I don't know how long I slept but it was really refreshing and I dreamt a lot. I think it was my mind organizing everything I had just taken in. I was great after that.

Then Thursday morning at 10:00 I began teaching. The pastors are great! They are attentive, interested, and interactive. I love questions and they are sure to ask them when they need to! They are also very encouraging. They tell me that I am a "strong teacher." They are very welcoming and kind.

I will update more later but the dinner triangle has been rung and I must jet. Here's a photo of Steph and I. (I wanted to crop it but couldn't bring myself to remove the Dinka people staring at us ;) )

Joshua

In Keyna

2010-09-07T04:20:00.000-07:00

Just an FYI, I am in Nairobi finishing up some logistical stuff and I fly out tomorrow. I am glad to be here so that I don't have to continue to be at a loss as what to expect, now I just get to live it and serve as I was called to serve.

I will be more thorough when I have an extra moment.

Joshua

6:10 to Atlanta

2010-09-05T04:23:00.000-07:00

. . . and unsurity to possess.

I have been keeping up with some stories from people who just came back from, or are still in, Sudan. I keep getting more and more info about what life was is like in Tonj, what the people are like, what to expect, but I still find myself unsure. I know this is not a bad place to be. Being unsure of what to expect opens many doors to learn and experience without "looking forward" to something else. Diffidence allows you to be open to what is happening RIGHT NOW. You don't have to be caught up with expectations of you, the people you are going to SERVE, or being prepared to get through any of it! I still don't know what to expect of the Dinka and what teaching them will be like, but how great is that! No expectations! No worrying about meeting some preconceived based on a conjecture. I just get to live it, where God wants me, and relying upon Him for supply and guidance. Amazing.

So I am here now, suspended in front of an airline gate reading "6:10 to Atlanta" without sight, but full of vision.

Joshua

Countdown

2010-09-04T15:14:00.000-07:00

14 hours, 3 minutes until I begin a new journey... Sudan!

Joshua

Off The Ground

2010-08-31T09:02:00.000-07:00

NOTW

Another step, another adventure;
Two feet walking, striding closer.
Upon the clouds without a worry;
My heart seeks a better story.
Across the globe but even farther;
God's guidance draws me higher.
Feet carrying a greater story;
Redemption for all, not a worry.

Joshua

One Fortnight Minus a Day!

2010-08-30T11:59:00.000-07:00

Six days until a new journey. Still, God is preparing me and using this sacrifice for His Kingdom! Last night I had dinner with a friend's parents here in San Diego and we got to talking about Sudan. I got to talking about how God has called me and how He has prepared me (and you, my mother) for this journey. Then the preaching broke out again. Almost like lighting a campfire. . . with gasoline. There was the match of question, "So how did you end up deciding to go to Sudan?" Then it was tossed my direction. I was the wood. God's calling was the gasoline. Haha. I set into my past, His provision, travel, ministry, leaning, falling, then Isaiah 6. Oh, Isaiah 6. I went on for a time, spilling the Truth that has been set in me. It was great!

In one hundred sixty-one hours I will be on a plane in Albuquerque headed to Atlanta, Amsterdam, Nairobi, Tonj. Haha! PRAY! I am so excited about how many of God's laymen are lifting up this journey to Him in prayer! I am so blessed to have so many servants praying on my behalf. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Just about everything is set logistical wise. Finances are here (mostly.) Tickets have been purchased (long ago.) And preparation continues. No more questioning. Now acting. Serving. Going. Thank you, all of you, for your support and intercession, don't quit now!

Last, I would really like to take with me some study material to help with teaching. I am in need of a concordance, Hebrew word study, and maybe a commentary, but the commentary is the least. I enjoy using the NASB translation. If anyone has one of these or is willing to get one to donate to me, I would greatly appreciate it. I am leaving in under six days, so time waning.

Psalm 12:5

"Because of the devastation of the afflicted, because of the groaning of the needy,
Now I will arise," says the Lord; "I will set him in the safety for which he longs."

Joshua

But Men

2010-08-26T12:58:00.000-07:00

Psalm 9:19-20

Arise, O Lord, do not let man prevail;
Let the nations be judged before you.
Put them in fear, O Lord;
Let the nations know that they are but men.
Selah.

I heard Psalm 9:18 read while in Swaziland and then was convicted that I do not believe in God's promises. The needy will not always be forgotten. I didn't believe it in my heart. Then seem to have been forgotten for decades, but now you mean to tell me that something will finally be done and they will no longer be needy? I don't (didn't) believe it. Then I witnessed and was involved with remembering the needy. I was in Swaziland walking in the promise and vision of redeeming a NATION! So, that's what happened with verse 18.

Now I am reading though The Psalms. Let me tell you, after finishing the book of Job, The Psalms are a blessing. Things move from pain, turmoil, accusations, and humility into a tone of crying out to and praising God. Whoever organized the order of books within the Bible was genius.

Verses eighteen and nineteen were quite a war cry for me. God! remind us/them that we/they are but men! We have no power over you! Accomplish your will, let us know you are God, proclaim your greatness! I just almost wrote in place of this sentence, "Imagine if God was to show us who He is." That's almost dumb. God IS showing us who He is! Everything around us is so exact, specifically made for a task, and perfect in its way. God didn't make mistakes and if we care to pay attention, we will see that He made everything perfect! Take a look at a storm. Go stand on a mountain peak. Look close at a flower. Think about the cycle of sun-dirt/water-seed-plant-flower-seed-animal-dirt/water. There is so much more to that cycle than I can explain in one line. How is it that every plant is able to reproduce enough not to die, survive calamity, then return into the ground to go around again? God's splendor is constantly shouting at us. We can't control any of it. We build a dam on the Colorado River and make a reservoir but we can't stop the water. It is going to keep flowing down river. We can't make it windy or cease to blow. We can't produce storm clouds and lightning to rain down upon the earth. WE ARE BUT MEN! Yet we try to control life. Abortions. Slavery. Hatred. Genocide. What's our deal?

We won't ever stop time or move God from His place. And over that, God will protect those He loves. We cannot promise someone eternity or damn them to hell. We cannot kill those who God would save and we can't save a life that God is claiming.

If God would have me to die, no one can stop Him. Think about all the encouragement that comes with that! No one will be able to accomplish something within us that God hasn't already ordained.

Then there is free will. I choose to write this, listen to Pandora radio, and drink a 16oz double shot, almond breve'. That was my choice. But God put that opportunity before me. He allowed me to earn the money though work, give me ears, a mouth, and supplied me with fingers attached to hands that I can type with. All is given by Him and my Lord has power over all of it. No one will prevail over my life but God. The righteous will not be destroyed. God protects those He chooses and in judgment the evil will realize that they did nothing God didn't allow them to do.

The nations will know that they are but men. Amen.

Joshua

Show Off

2010-08-21T18:48:00.000-07:00

But He is allowed to show off.
Who?
God.
Well, duh, of course He can show off and does.

I just finished Job. It is a grueling book to get through. Such disdain from the "friends" of a man in agony. Job defends himself again and again and then his friends keep coming back with attack after attack. Then there's Eliphaz. I will never name my kid Eliphaz. Bad idea. Anyway, what I am headed toward is this: Our creator will be glorified in spite of what we do. You know that?

Starting the chapter 38 of Job, God starts to speak. He tells about nature and the creation of the world. He proclaims His authority over all existence. He speaks about natural occurrences that suddenly become greater and bigger than we allow them to be within our minds. He speaks of the stars and their organization. Then our Creator proclaims the wonders in animals. How He causes everything to come about in the wild. Then there are things man cannot see and will never understand that He describes. There are things hidden beneath the ground we will never find, things in the deep and in the sky that we cannot see. Our eyes cannot uncover all the mysteries of the universe. He created things that way.

Why?
Isn't it about our glorifying Him?
No.
No, it isn't about us at all.
It's about God's glory.

And by hiding these things from us that worship Him all the time, He is bringing glory to himself in spite of our obedience. Then he challenges Job to be the teacher. "I will ask you, and you instruct Me." (Job 40:7) Can Job do it? Of course not! Job is created by God and could never instruct God! Job knew that. Read chapter 42. I mean it. Take in interlude and read it now. Don't have a Bible close? Click here.

Okay, you read it? Job repents. He defended himself before his friends but as soon as God speaks, he realizes he is nothing. We are but dust and ashes next to God. Does that make you feel small? Incapable of speaking to God? Does that produce a reverent fear of God? After reading it I was slow to pray. Who are we to speak to the ALMIGHTY? Tell me that? What right? He is greater than anything and everything. All is His. It is about His glory, not about us.

But He loves us.

Joshua

Quick Word

2010-08-19T06:49:00.000-07:00

I am soon to be late for work so I will just say like, two things.

My final dates are set. I leave the US on September 5th and arrive in Nairobi, Kenya on the 6th. I will get immunized in Kenya before getting a charter flight from Kenya to Tonj, Sudan on September 8th. I will begin my flights back on January 10th.

My Church family is so supportive, thank you all! I would love to talk to anyone who wants anymore info, so just give me a call or email me if you want to talk. My phone number is in my last post. I have some small things I need for the trip that some of you have have lying around. I will post that this evening. But they are things like a leatherman and a travel mirror. Yeah, creepy that adventure boy here doesn't have a leatherman, but I don't and they really suggest taking one.

Anywho, please continue to pray for clarity and preparation. God has been teaching me a lot throughout the recent week and I still have a lot to learn.

Michah 6:8,
Joshua

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Schedule If you are crazy enough to want me to speak at your church, small group, or home, you can email me or call me at (575) 626-6547. I would be honored to share my experience in missions and present options and ideas to get involved in missions, to live intentionally for Christ.

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Where Are the Pilgrims?

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Meltdown

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October 2010 Newsletter

Kalachuchi (Plumeria Acuminata)

Shootin' Hoops

Schedule
If you are crazy enough to want me to speak at your church, small group, or home, you can email me or call me at (575) 626-6547. I would be honored to share my experience in missions and present options and ideas to get involved in missions, to live intentionally for Christ.